boo·mer·ang
noun
- 1.a curved flat piece of wood that can be thrown so as to return to the thrower, traditionally used by Australian Aborigines as a hunting weapon.
verb
- 1.to come back or return, as a boomerang.
I feel pretty clever here. The title of this blog entry is called boomerangs. It represents many things in my life right now. The title is also is an apt description of my return to posting (however infrequent) updates to this blog. But I think there are some things that I need to talk about with my life. I don't know who will read this, but if you do, I hope this provides encouragement in your life.
To Come Back or Return
I'm going to come back to the story of my life. It's my blog, I feel as if I can be a little selfish as I describe the events that transpired in my life since May the 22, 2013. For the sake of sanity (and my forgetful memory), I'm just going to state that my life from 2013 to May 2015 revolved around the toughness of Georgia Tech. I made some really good friends during my senior year, came in third on an aircraft design competition with some of these friends (press release is here: https://www.aiaa.org/SecondaryTwoColumn.aspx?id=29905), and actually survived one of the hardest school years of my life.
But then came graduation. I WAS FREE! I SURVIVED TECH! I HAVE MY LIFE BACK!
Initially it was fantastic. I was excited to be done with my undergrad. I was part of those who managed to "get out" of Georgia Tech. I also had a good shot at a post-graduation internship obtained through my research group (was interviewed and they sounded excited for me to join them), so what did I have to fear?
"Sorry, you were the runner-up for the internship position."
Me: "...What now?"
A State of Limbo
Have you ever been in a state of limbo? That was my summer.
You know what is rather interesting? Going from giving 110% to ~0% almost instantly. Having really no pursuit, passion, or motivation. Having no money to do anything. Sitting around your apartment all day just browsing the internet or applying to job positions.
That. Sucks.
At first it was pretty great. "Look at all the time I have to do all of these things I've put off?" That thought lasted about a month. Thankfully we had a vacation around July 4th that was also a helpful distraction, but returning from that vacation sucked though. All my friends were going into grad school or getting awesome jobs, and I was getting turned down left and right for the positions I had applied to. My parents were pushing for me to find anything to help with bills (guys, if you read this, you have no clue how much I thank you for helping me through that period of time), and even local hourly businesses were turning me down.
A few job interviews occurred, but for one reason or another, they didn't go with me. I have never in my life experienced a state of depression, but I think I got pretty close during this time. I was waking up at 2 or 3 every day, constantly tired, and pretty much doing nothing other then applying to jobs and feeling sorry for myself. I knew this state couldn't last forever, but I didn't have the energy do do anything. I was in constant worry about how long my meager savings could last and if I would ever get a job.
A few job interviews occurred, but for one reason or another, they didn't go with me. I have never in my life experienced a state of depression, but I think I got pretty close during this time. I was waking up at 2 or 3 every day, constantly tired, and pretty much doing nothing other then applying to jobs and feeling sorry for myself. I knew this state couldn't last forever, but I didn't have the energy do do anything. I was in constant worry about how long my meager savings could last and if I would ever get a job.
Matthew 6:25-34: 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
This passage has always been a cornerstone of my life. In college I failed classes, almost flunked out of Georgia Tech, and experienced a lot of difficult situations. No matter what happened though, this passage always seemed to pop up at the best possible time. During my state of limbo, this passage came up again. It was a small, but bright light in this period of my life. It gave me peace and purpose.
Around the time to where my Bible study brought me back to this passage, I had started running again. The summer prior to when this occurred, I had started to run almost daily. It was only a few miles each time, but it was consistent. When school started back, I pretty much stopped completely due to my school workload, and the fact it was getting colder again. But now I was at it again.
There is peace in running. You go for a designated amount of time and just forget about problems and worries in your life. Back when I swam with Kennesaw State University, we would have practices to where we would just swim at our own pace for the duration of the practice (typically an hour an a half). Some of the most peaceful moments of my life was during those practices. You get in a rhythm and the struggles of whatever sport you are doing just sorta fade and you get to just think and pray. With running it's the same way. Just go out there, run, find your momentum, and just enjoy the peace that comes with it.
This peace and challenge gave me something of a purpose again. Sure, I wasn't training for any races, but I was at least getting out, exercise, and pushing myself again. It was a start.
Shortly after I had started to run again, my friend Ells had convinced me to go join him and and a few other friends at a weekly Bible study at Church of the Apostles called Impact.
I'll tell you guys, it had been years since I was involved in a Bible study group. I'd occasionally attend Passion City Church, but that was the extent of it. It turns out Impact is composed of a pretty amazing group of people who will lift you up and encourage you. Plus they are pretty awesome to hang out with as well.
Side note: if any of you guys read this, I love each and every one of you so much. You have helped me in ways that you couldn't even imagine. You made me feel accepted during a period of my life where rejection was almost a daily occurrence. You have encouraged and lifted me up so much and I couldn't ask for better friends.
About a month into my attending of Impact, they were having their yearly Labor Day retreat. A few of my friends said they were going to go, so sure, I'd attend too! Well shortly after registering for it, my friends had to back out for one thing or another. But you know what? I was going to go anyways. I had been shut in for so long, and I figured I'd be bold and go on a trip to where I'd barely know anyone.
That was one of the best choices I could have ever made. It's amazing what happens when you put yourself out there, in situations that can make you uncomfortable. During this trip I made some really good friends who I now daily interact/confide in.
Initially it was intimidating, but a few of the guys really accepted me and it ended up being a fantastic experience. I am not an outgoing person to say the least, but everyone there was awesome in pulling in a stranger. In retrospect, these guys were being completely themselves, and not just intentionally going out of their way to accept a stranger to the group. That speaks a lot about the character of the Apostles 20-30 group. This event was pretty much a turning point for my life during that time as well.
Afterwards: "Man, there is no way I am getting this position."
Next day
Recruiter: "They loved you! They want to do a sit down interview!"
Me: "What?"
Interview
Interviewers: "Do these things and answer these questions."
Me: *struggles to do half of the things and feels like I did poorly with the questions*
Next day
Recruiter: "They want to hire you!"
Me: "Seriously, is this a joke? What is going on here?!"
In retrospect, I understand why they hired me, but at the time it didn't make any sense. God truly was guiding my life in this situation -- and more then that, He was guiding my life in everything that happened.
Isaiah 58:11: 11 The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.
God knows where you will be going, what needs you have, and what problems will occur. But each and every day is precious, so why waste it? You never know what will occur tomorrow. Who knows? Ultimately He is there with you in everything. He is there walking beside you in even the worst situations and times. He will never leave you. He knows what you will be experiencing, He knows what you will face, and He shares in your suffering. Ultimately, He is in control.
Each day is precious. Every day, the world has spun for 24 hours at massive speeds. The moon orbits around this amazing planet. Both this planet and the mood orbits around at a perfect distance to provide life from the Sun. This orbit is just a small part of a corresponding solar system. This solar system is just a tiny piece of a galaxy that spins around such a massive nucleus, that when compared to the Earth, the Earth pretty much non-existent on how small it becomes. This overall galaxy is just one of trillions upon trillions of galaxies in the known universe. All of this was created by an amazing God.
As majestic as this is, God loves you personally. The creator of such majesty cares specifically for you and your life. The scale of his power and might is uncomprehending. "If it's in His will, God will provide." God will provide for you, provide for your needs, even if it doesn't look like it. Every day of life is a miracle that was God has given you. He has an amazing plan for the World, and this is a plan that will ultimately show His glory to all of creation. But within this plan, you exist, and He cares for you, and in your pain, He weeps with you.
So enjoy today. Really embrace it. Why worry about what is going to happen? Do all you can to worry about the issues of each day, and leave the rest to God.
So, most of all, DO NOT WORRY.
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Encouragement
This passage has always been a cornerstone of my life. In college I failed classes, almost flunked out of Georgia Tech, and experienced a lot of difficult situations. No matter what happened though, this passage always seemed to pop up at the best possible time. During my state of limbo, this passage came up again. It was a small, but bright light in this period of my life. It gave me peace and purpose.
Around the time to where my Bible study brought me back to this passage, I had started running again. The summer prior to when this occurred, I had started to run almost daily. It was only a few miles each time, but it was consistent. When school started back, I pretty much stopped completely due to my school workload, and the fact it was getting colder again. But now I was at it again.
There is peace in running. You go for a designated amount of time and just forget about problems and worries in your life. Back when I swam with Kennesaw State University, we would have practices to where we would just swim at our own pace for the duration of the practice (typically an hour an a half). Some of the most peaceful moments of my life was during those practices. You get in a rhythm and the struggles of whatever sport you are doing just sorta fade and you get to just think and pray. With running it's the same way. Just go out there, run, find your momentum, and just enjoy the peace that comes with it.
This peace and challenge gave me something of a purpose again. Sure, I wasn't training for any races, but I was at least getting out, exercise, and pushing myself again. It was a start.
Shortly after I had started to run again, my friend Ells had convinced me to go join him and and a few other friends at a weekly Bible study at Church of the Apostles called Impact.
I'll tell you guys, it had been years since I was involved in a Bible study group. I'd occasionally attend Passion City Church, but that was the extent of it. It turns out Impact is composed of a pretty amazing group of people who will lift you up and encourage you. Plus they are pretty awesome to hang out with as well.
Side note: if any of you guys read this, I love each and every one of you so much. You have helped me in ways that you couldn't even imagine. You made me feel accepted during a period of my life where rejection was almost a daily occurrence. You have encouraged and lifted me up so much and I couldn't ask for better friends.
About a month into my attending of Impact, they were having their yearly Labor Day retreat. A few of my friends said they were going to go, so sure, I'd attend too! Well shortly after registering for it, my friends had to back out for one thing or another. But you know what? I was going to go anyways. I had been shut in for so long, and I figured I'd be bold and go on a trip to where I'd barely know anyone.
That was one of the best choices I could have ever made. It's amazing what happens when you put yourself out there, in situations that can make you uncomfortable. During this trip I made some really good friends who I now daily interact/confide in.
Initially it was intimidating, but a few of the guys really accepted me and it ended up being a fantastic experience. I am not an outgoing person to say the least, but everyone there was awesome in pulling in a stranger. In retrospect, these guys were being completely themselves, and not just intentionally going out of their way to accept a stranger to the group. That speaks a lot about the character of the Apostles 20-30 group. This event was pretty much a turning point for my life during that time as well.
Shortly after this trip, I had the opportunity to do a few jobs and some people reached out and provided some work for me. On top of this, I was also starting get more involved with my running. There was a 5k race in my hometown that October that I was determined to train up for (oh 5k's, how I miss the day this was what I considered as far).
Along with this, the Georgia Tech Career Fair occurred in September. It didn't result in any jobs, but it did land me a few interviews which helped a ton. Shortly after the career fair, I had that race that I'd been training up for. The race ended up being super cold and it was pouring that day (plus I'm pretty sure that was the reason why I was sick the next few weeks), but it was uplifting. It made me want to push myself farther. Since then I've been training significantly and this year looks exciting as it will most likely contain a few half-marathons in my near future (super excited for these).
Halfway through October, I got a call from a recruiter. Apparently since my resume says "I have experience with Linux", it was good enough for a phone interview with the Georgia Tech Research Institute. Mind you, "experience with Linux" means: "I have installed it on a laptop and have only barely used it".
This part is truly due to God as there is no other way I can explain what happened:
Phone interview:
Boss: "So explain what you've done with Linux before?"
Me: "Pretty much, very little."Afterwards: "Man, there is no way I am getting this position."
Next day
Recruiter: "They loved you! They want to do a sit down interview!"
Me: "What?"
Interview
Interviewers: "Do these things and answer these questions."
Me: *struggles to do half of the things and feels like I did poorly with the questions*
Next day
Recruiter: "They want to hire you!"
Me: "Seriously, is this a joke? What is going on here?!"
In retrospect, I understand why they hired me, but at the time it didn't make any sense. God truly was guiding my life in this situation -- and more then that, He was guiding my life in everything that happened.
Isaiah 58:11: 11 The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.
Perspective
God knows where you will be going, what needs you have, and what problems will occur. But each and every day is precious, so why waste it? You never know what will occur tomorrow. Who knows? Ultimately He is there with you in everything. He is there walking beside you in even the worst situations and times. He will never leave you. He knows what you will be experiencing, He knows what you will face, and He shares in your suffering. Ultimately, He is in control.
Each day is precious. Every day, the world has spun for 24 hours at massive speeds. The moon orbits around this amazing planet. Both this planet and the mood orbits around at a perfect distance to provide life from the Sun. This orbit is just a small part of a corresponding solar system. This solar system is just a tiny piece of a galaxy that spins around such a massive nucleus, that when compared to the Earth, the Earth pretty much non-existent on how small it becomes. This overall galaxy is just one of trillions upon trillions of galaxies in the known universe. All of this was created by an amazing God.
As majestic as this is, God loves you personally. The creator of such majesty cares specifically for you and your life. The scale of his power and might is uncomprehending. "If it's in His will, God will provide." God will provide for you, provide for your needs, even if it doesn't look like it. Every day of life is a miracle that was God has given you. He has an amazing plan for the World, and this is a plan that will ultimately show His glory to all of creation. But within this plan, you exist, and He cares for you, and in your pain, He weeps with you.
So enjoy today. Really embrace it. Why worry about what is going to happen? Do all you can to worry about the issues of each day, and leave the rest to God.
So, most of all, DO NOT WORRY.
A Curved Flat Piece of Wood that Can be Thrown so as to Return to the Thrower
I have found out in my life that the Lord works in mysterious, and sometimes weird ways. Take MLK day for instance. As a government employee, I had the day off. My friends Chip, Jennifer, Lauren, and I decided "hey, let's go hiking at Kennesaw Mountain on a nice, warm day of 33-35 degrees (with a very nice wind chill on the top of the mountain to throw in there as well).
Needless to say, at the top of the mountain, it was freezing. But, it did end up being a super fun day. At the end of it, Chip had really wanted to show us how to throw a boomerang at one of the fields there. Needless to say, I think I need some more practice on getting it to work.
We did this in the morning/afternoon, but later that night, I had a BSF, or Bible Study Fellowship meeting.
Let me digress from the story for a minute: BSF is amazing. I've made it a personal goal to try to read (at least) a chapter a day through the Bible every day the last couple of years. My overall goal was to eventually reach a full read through. Let me explain something: There is a significant difference between reading the Bible and understanding the Bible. When you just read it, it's easy to skip over things, and you just get a "rough-outline" of the story. That's why when you read a book, or watch a movie, the second time you see it you see things that you might have missed your first go-around.
Truly studying the Bible is different. Why is this verse worded in this way? Why is it HIM, Him, or him? What is the significance of these events? How do these verses parallel with these other verses? This is BSF at it's core: A truly in-depth reading of the Bible. Sure, you might not do the "chapter a day" routine that I was doing, but man do you get so much more out of it. So worth doing.
Alright, back to the story.
What really sealed the title of this post is this: the same day Chip got us to throw the boomerang, was the same day we found out the leader of our BSF group was a competitive boomeranger (not sure if this is a word, but I'm going to say it is). The last time I have ever seen, or used, a boomerang has to be over 5 years ago. Then suddenly within the same day, two different instances of boomerangs occurred. But it made me think that it really is a great metaphor for my life right now. I have returned to a better state and have returned back to being part of such an encouraging group of friends who help me in my walk with God. It's a return to striving to be the man that God wanted me to be.
We did this in the morning/afternoon, but later that night, I had a BSF, or Bible Study Fellowship meeting.
Let me digress from the story for a minute: BSF is amazing. I've made it a personal goal to try to read (at least) a chapter a day through the Bible every day the last couple of years. My overall goal was to eventually reach a full read through. Let me explain something: There is a significant difference between reading the Bible and understanding the Bible. When you just read it, it's easy to skip over things, and you just get a "rough-outline" of the story. That's why when you read a book, or watch a movie, the second time you see it you see things that you might have missed your first go-around.
Truly studying the Bible is different. Why is this verse worded in this way? Why is it HIM, Him, or him? What is the significance of these events? How do these verses parallel with these other verses? This is BSF at it's core: A truly in-depth reading of the Bible. Sure, you might not do the "chapter a day" routine that I was doing, but man do you get so much more out of it. So worth doing.
Alright, back to the story.
What really sealed the title of this post is this: the same day Chip got us to throw the boomerang, was the same day we found out the leader of our BSF group was a competitive boomeranger (not sure if this is a word, but I'm going to say it is). The last time I have ever seen, or used, a boomerang has to be over 5 years ago. Then suddenly within the same day, two different instances of boomerangs occurred. But it made me think that it really is a great metaphor for my life right now. I have returned to a better state and have returned back to being part of such an encouraging group of friends who help me in my walk with God. It's a return to striving to be the man that God wanted me to be.
-Ryan Mueller
P..S. I was initially planning on finishing this blog in about a week. It's been a few months. But man, it's nice to finally put what's been happening in my life to words.
